~ Time still turns the pages of the book its burned ~

~ Hate to twist your mind ~

~ But God isn't on your side ~

~ An old acquaintance severed ~

~ You should have known the price of evil ~

~ And it hurts to know that you belong here ~

~ You're tragic fate is looking so clear ~

~ It's your fucking nightmare ~

******

*Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold*

~~~~~ Vs ~~~~~

~ "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you ~

~ You would walk with me always" ~

~ "I've noticed that during my most trying periods in life ~

~ There have only been one set of footprints in the sand" ~

~ The Lord replied ~

~ "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints ~

~ That is when I carried you" ~

******

*Footprints in the sand poem*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From a very young age we are told that time is constant.  It never changes.  It is one of they only set things in life that you can always rely on. There will always be sixty seconds in a minute. There will always be sixty minutes in an hour. And there will always be twenty-four hours in a day.
Time does not fluctuate. It moves on at the same, constant pace at every moment in your life.

I couldn't disagree more.

Truth is, time does fluctuate. It's easy to lose hours or even days in a blink of an eye. Other times, it's a struggle to get through a mere hour.  Through the years, time has ebbed and flowed as relentlessly as the
tides, and just as powerfully too. The moments that you wanted to last forever were the ones that were washed away all too soon. The moments that you wanted to speed up, were slowed down to a snail’s pace.

Time ticks forward.  Through good and bad, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but forward none the less.  You can allow yourself to get caught up in feelings of defeat or you can reach down deep and find the strength you need to pick yourself back up and stand. 

~Strength~ Such a simple word.  To be strong.  Why is it that it can seem impossible to find when you need it the most?

The trials and tribulations in life are a test of one's strength and endurance. You can't always control or predict the hardships that arise, however, you can decide to endure and overcome those situations.  In times of struggle your strength is tested, and you have two choices.  Choice one, you can throw your hands in the air and give up, letting the destruction take you down and keep you there.  That is the weak choice.  Choice two, you can accept that what's happened has happened and forge a plan to move forward, regardless of situation, failure not being an option.  That is the strong choice.  That, is MY choice!

Purpose Undefined

My mind was very erratic yesterday, thoughts swirling around a mile a minute, a bit jumbled up and fleeting. In a moment of supreme clarity, I realize there are things around me and within that need some tweaking.  

I have come to the conclusion that the majority of my "friendships" have no substance to them what-so-ever.  Apart from the two or three gems I've found along the way, the rest are inconsequential.  We share no common interests, hobbies or even principles and that is a problem for me.  I'm over the "some things never change, here we go again" ridiculousness of it all. There is a lyric that puts it into perspective for me and it's "keep on doing the same thing, and you're expecting change, is that really insanity, or just a losing game".  It's time to move on to bigger and better things.  Speaking with my best friend last night expressing these things to her for her to help me deal with my "crazy", she says "we don't really share the same interests".  I ponder this for a simple second and tell her "we're different", as cliche' as it sounds, she's my oldest and dearest friend and yet, despite not sharing many common interests, our souls just belong together.  That's a friendship with substance, one that can go long periods of time without speaking, yet when I'm feeling angry, down, sad, confused or happy it only takes a few minutes of conversation before the calm spreads and I realize that I'm a lucky girl.  It's time to start expanding my social circle to find other souls that my soul can't do without!  

For as long as I can remember I've always been passionate about music and writing.  Somewhere along the road, the writing fell off and I think it's time to get it back.  The music...it's tough to explain, there are those who get it and those that just don't.  The power of music rests in its ability to reach inside and touch the places where the deepest cuts lie.  A good song should move you to your core, change your mood, it should make you feel like you can fly, and every once in a while you will stumble upon a song that will change your life.  A new friend and I are planning a trip to go see some local bands play at a lounge or club, and I think it's just what I need!  I have put off a lot of the things I've always wanted to do, so it's about that time to step up and reclaim them. 

That's all for now, I shall leave you will a few of my favorite songs currently rotating on my playlist.  Definitely worth a listen!

"Dear God" ~ Avenged Sevenfold

"Cosmic Love" ~ Florence and The Machine

"Home" ~ Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros 

A Firefighter's Wife

HERO ~ A man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities ~

SACRIFICE ~ the surrender of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim ~

A typical Sunday night, lounging around watching Army Wives with my husband, only he's got his scanner turned up loudly and I can't hear my show!!  He says 22's are jobbin' as if that is going to make his scanner any less annoying.  He gets up and gets dressed to head to the firehouse because he thinks they will get called to help.  He gives me a kiss and heads out the door.  There is an apartment complex on fire with reports of screaming from inside.  It is when he leaves the house that my anxiety starts to slowly build.  I do some laundry, finish watching my shows, and then get a notification on my phone that they are responding to the fire.  The anxiety builds a little higher.  I start getting text messages from some friends who have heard about the fire asking me if I've heard about it and I tell them yes, my husband is there.  I putz around waiting to hear that my hubby is safe and sound and on his way home, but the call never comes.  I fall asleep sometime after 2:00 am, and when I wake in the morning, I am relieved to see he is sleeping like a baby!  Thank God.

I couldn't even begin to explain the calling my husband has for firefighting.  I would do it no justice, of this I am sure of.  I, myself, don't fully understand what makes a person want to run into a burning building, or what makes a person put their life on the line for a complete stranger.  

It is his job.  It is his passion.  It's in his blood.  

People constantly say "I don't know how you do it".  The worrying.  The time he is away from home.  The "up and leave" at any time of any day.  The danger. 

The answer is: He's my husband, so it's my job.  He's my passion, and  I fully support him.  

Being a Firefighter's wife isn't an easy job.  It requires selflessness, sacrifice, composure, tolerance, empathy and mercy.  It is a lot of time spent alone, a lot of rearranged plans, a lot of waiting around and a lot of apprehension.  It's a lot of navy blue T-shirts with fire department logos on them.  It's birthdays celebrated at the firehouse.  It's way too many conversations about accidents, hostage situations, brush fires, house fires, car fires and wires.  It's fun Superbowl parties, holiday parties with fireworks, and weddings filled with rowdy firefighters.  It's meeting friends you will have for a lifetime.  It's a shared bond. It's a lifestyle. 

My husband is a Volunteer Firefighter.  He is strong, courageous, fearless, brave, adventurous, dependable, and steadfast.  I am a Volunteer Firefighter's wife, and I fully support my husband, through the good times and bad because that is what I want to do.